Find someone who would not let go of you so easily.
I’m still awful about you. Your face will flash in my mind at random times of the day and my heart will seem to run over 100 mph. I’ll see or hear your name somewhere and a truckload of memories will hit me faster than a speeding bullet, and the wounds will open up again. It’s terrifying to think how quickly the switch can turn from “mildly blissful” to “hopelessly dismal.” Maybe all this time, I’ve just been “naively trusting” - foolishly living in my tear-clogged brain where endless litanies of “I’m okay” and “it doesn’t hurt anymore” are scratched everywhere. But no, I’m making a vow to end this pain. Maybe every now and then, you’d still hit me like that rush in my stomach during a roller coaster ride and I can’t shake it off until the end of the ride. Maybe I’ll always be puzzled at how things ended without any ellipses or commas. Just a sudden period in the middle of a sentence. Maybe I missed a foreshadowing excerpt in our story. There will always be reminders of your existence and maybe right now I can’t shake off the sudden jump of my heart or the abrupt constraint of my throat. But eventually, the sting will pass and when I get reminded of you, I’ll just smile and say “I’m happy now, and I hope wherever you are, you are too.”
When i say, “i miss you”,
I really do mean it. I’m not the type of person to only say those 3 words when i need something from you. If I tell you that I miss you, it means that you mean a lot to me. Not only does it mean that you have positively impacted my life, but it also means that i want you to stay. I know people come and go, and that’s life, but I’m going to be honest, I want you to stay in my life.
(Source: baesensei, via countrytwister)